


No one makes it out alive

by dead2theliving



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Al is Dead, Angst, Ed stays with the military, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Promised Day, Post-Series, Suicidal Thoughts, TW: suicidal thoughts, first thing I've ever published, its been like ten years, roy/Ed is just implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:14:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27001810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dead2theliving/pseuds/dead2theliving
Summary: She's quiet for a moment, the phone buzzing with static. "What happened, Roy."He can't quite stop the hitch in his voice, but refuses to let his burning eyes fill with tears. "I don't know exactly but... it's Alphonse, Riza. He's dead."
Relationships: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Comments: 7
Kudos: 79





	No one makes it out alive

Middle of the night interruptions weren't exactly uncommon for him. 

After all, he was a General now, so he often got phone calls late in the night or early in the morning to attend to some problem or another. That was normal. What wasn't normal, however, was hearing a knock at his front door at one in the morning on a Tuesday. 

So of course, in his sleepy state, it takes him a moment to actually realize what the sound is. When he does, it's like Hawkeye is dumping a bucket of ice cold water over him again. He's awake and alert instantly, tossing on a shirt and his gloves before silently making his way down the hall. 

The knock sounds again, slightly more firm, and he wonders what in gods name could have possibly happened for this to be happening right now. 

Glove raised, he yanks open the door ready to snap, but ends up blinking in confusion. 

Winry Rockbell was definitely not who he expected. 

"Miss Rockbell?" He manages, voice a bit rough from sleep. "What's going on?"

The girl- well, woman now, almost 26- is trembling and there's tears running down her face. Her eyes are puffy and nose is raw and he can tell she's been crying for awhile. 

She breathes deeply, trying to control the shake in her voice as she desperately meets his eyes. "General, I'm sorry to bother you so late but, have you seen Edward?" 

Now he's even more concerned. 

"No, I'm sorry I haven't seen him in about a week." Not since the end of last month when the team had all gone out for drinks and monthly poker game because Ed had left for a mission the next day and just gotten back today.

She starts sobbing again, pulling at her hair a bit. "Oh no!" Her voice is so destroyed it makes him feel a bit faint. "No no no, this isn't good. Do you have any idea where he would go?"

"Go? I'm sorry, Miss. Rockbell but I'm afraid I don't quite understand what's going on. What happened with, Ed?"

She covers her mouth with one hand, looking like she's trying her best to get under control. "It-It's, Alphonse!" Meeting his eyes, she cries, "He's dead!"

*******

When Maes died, Roy felt like his entire world had ended. He can still feel the terror he felt that night in his office; grip impossibly tight on the phone as he yelled into it, dread in the pit of his stomach and he knew. Somehow he just knew that he would never hear Maes answer him back. 

Sometimes he still just picks up the phone in his office and holds it to his ear, waiting. 

But this, this was completely different and somehow worse because this wasn't just one friend he'd lost, right now he didn't know if Ed was still alive either. 

He'd somehow managed to shake himself out of his shock and finally bring Winry inside. The second he'd shut the door she'd collapsed. He didn't really have much practice with crying women, but he knew from what the Elric brothers had told him that Winry was touchy. So he'd crouched down beside her and pulled her into a hug. 

They'd sat in his foyer for almost twenty minutes, awkwardly positioned on the floor while she soaked his shirt. He forced his mind to stay focused on rubbing circles in her back, trying to comfort her best he could despite the fact he'd never actually spent much time with the girl. If not for the circumstance, he'd feel unbelievably uncomfortable. 

She finally managed to cry herself out, and was now sitting at the table in his kitchen, eyes locked on the mug in her hands but he knew she wasn't seeing anything in front of her. 

He... well he wasn't quite sure what he should do. 

He had so many questions. How had Al died? When did Edward find out? And, most importantly, where the hell was Ed?

He wanted to ask. He was terrified that Ed was honestly doing something stupid right now. Alphonse was all Ed had ever known, without him, he imagines Ed feels like he has no reason to live anymore. 

He needs to find him, but he also needs to not bombard Winry with questions and his own concerns.

So he sighs, gently sitting across from her. "Winry, are you alright to talk?"

She glances up at him, eyes still brimming with tears but her breathing was under control now. She nodded a bit and he smiled as gently as he could. "I'm not going to ask anything about what happened. I just need to know how long Ed has been gone."

She lets out a shaky breath, hands tightening around the mug as if her staying calm was dependent on it. "Uh, um, not too long. He uh, he came back to the apartment at about eleven and he..." She bites her lip, hunching in on herself a bit. "He'd been with Al. And when he came home he was covered in blood and his clothes were torn. He looked like he wasn't even in there." 

Roy can practically picture it, and it made him want to throw up. 

"His eyes were so, so dead. And when I'd gotten up and asked if he was alright he just stared at me and didn't say anything. So of course I started panicking and then...". A few tears slipped down her cheek. "Then I asked where Al was. And he... he just blinked at me and said that Al was dead in the most flat tone I've ever heard from him." The sick in his gut was getting dangerously close to his throat. "He told me he just wanted to make sure I knew, and then he just fucking walked out and I was in too much shock to even realize what had happened."

She looked like she hated herself for that, but he knew better than to try and convince her she had every right to react how she did. 

"When my mind finally woke back up I was on the ground and crying. Sometimes I black out during a panic attack." She explains as if Roy had any idea she even had panic attacks at all. "A half hour had passed since Ed had left and I ran out to find him but I wasn't sure where to look and then I thought that maybe, maybe he'd come see you."

Go see him, as if fullmetal would ever come to him in time of need. 

Yes, him and Edward were a lot closer and even friends now- maybe a bit more than friends considering the last handful of poker nights had ended up with Ed back at his place but they never talked about it, even if it felt like they could be something so much more- but he had a hard time believing Ed would ever trust him enough to comfort him at times of tragedy. 

"Im sorry to have disappointed you, but Edward and I's friendship doesn't quite hold so much merit as to have him rely on me in times like these."

She rolls her eyes. "You two are so much alike it's annoying. He trusts you with his life, General. I knew it was a long shot but that has more to do with Ed not liking anyone to see him down, not anything to do with you specifically."

He swallows, his throat feeling a bit dry. "That is certainly surprising."

She sighs again. "I just... I can't think of anywhere else he'd be. I don't know central very well and I'm...". A rough sob forces it's way out of her again. "Without Al, I don't know that Ed would want to be alive anymore. I'm worried he's out there and either trying to get himself killed or he's already dead and I.. I'm just useless! I'm useless because the only person who could possibly help Ed right now is dead!"

She shoves the mug away from her, a bit of coffee spilling over the edge, and drops her face in her hands to sob loudly. His mind goes into overdrive and he decides he needs to get out on the streets. 

"Miss. Rockbell, I'm going to go find him." He tells her, confidence in his voice that he doesn't feel inside. "I'm going to call Hawkeye and have her come here and stay with you. I will not come back until I find him."

She looks up at him and nods, thanking him through her cries. He stands and rushes to the phone. Hawkeye, expectedly, answers after only two rings. 

"Hawkeye."

"Riza," Using her first name will no doubt have her out of bed and halfway into decent clothes in a second. "I need you to come to my house as soon as possible."

"I'm on my way. What's wrong."

He gulps. "I uh, Winry is here and I need you to stay with her while I find Ed."

She's quiet for a moment, the phone buzzing with static. "What happened, Roy."

He can't quite stop the hitch in his voice, but refuses to let his burning eyes fill with tears. "I don't know exactly but... it's Alphonse, Riza. He's dead."

"What?!" She hisses, voice hitching with terror and grief. "Oh my god, Edward! If he's out there-"

"I'm going to find him, and I'm praying he's still alive."

"I'll be there in ten minutes. Don't wait for me, just go."

She hangs up and he does too. He tells Winry that Riza will be here in ten minutes and then he throws on his coat and boots and grabs his keys, running out the door. 

*******

He's been driving around for almost an hour. 

He's checked every place that he knew Ed sometimes went to when his body was on autopilot, but they all turned up empty. The library was closed at this hour, but the security guard said no one had tried to break in (because he knew Ed would try that). He'd checked the only open bar in the city, even though Ed had never been someone to drink at times of tragedy, only times of celebration, but they'd told him Ed had never come in. Now, he was driving around at barely a crawl so he could look down every alley and at every storefront for any sign of Ed. 

It'd been so long now. 

If Ed wasn't already dead, he can't imagine he won't be soon. 

Edward had only given up once before- at least that he knows of- after that whole incident with Nina Tucker. But Ed had grown up since then and accomplished everything he had set out for and more. He knew Ed had felt a bit lost for awhile, no longer having his alchemy and no longer having to fix his past. He'd ended up staying with the military, with a lack of better options. 

Plus, Al had decided to attend the university. And of course, Al got a full scholarship, but he still needed more than just grants to fund his research. Ed was determined to make enough money to send Al to the university and pay for their apartment himself so Al wouldn't have to work on top of school; so he'd come back after his extended leave and announced he wouldn't be resigning. 

Admittedly, Roy had been shocked. He'd expected Ed's resignation the second he got Al's body back. He'd asked Ed why, and he'd explained the need to support Al, but he'd also shrugged and admitted he didn't know what else to do. It wasn't until two more years after that, after a late night of drinking, that Ed had admitted he stayed because he wanted to see Roy to the top. 

It was shocking, honestly. Ed could never stay in one place. He'd even stopped traveling- except for the rare mission- had stopped running away at every chance he got simply because he-

Oh my god. 

He was a fucking idiot. 

The U-turn he suddenly pulled was very much illegal and he's shocked he didn't break an axel when he hit the curb and sped away. 

It was only a five minute drive away but now that he was certain, could feel it in his gut that he was right, it felt like a god damn eternity. 

He didn't even bother parking properly; just slammed the tires into the curb and put it in park, not even turning off the car before rushing out of his seat and towards the train station ticket office. 

There were no trains running at this hour, wouldn't be until five or six, so if his hunch was right then Ed would still be here. 

He practically fell on his ass sliding around the corner, but it was worth it when he finally saw Ed. 

The relief he felt damn near winded him, and he actually put a hand to his heart and released a breath before walking towards the man. 

Ed was... not good. 

He was sitting on the bench, slumped with his head leaning against the wall behind him. Only the moonlight and a small flickering lamp by the track was all that illuminated him, making the atmosphere a hundred times more unsettling. He was still wearing the outfit Winry had described early, torn up and covered in blood. What Winry hadn't said though, was that Ed's face and hands were also caked in blood, long since dried. 

He really wished he knew what had happened. 

Ed's eyes were open, but they weren't really focused, looking just as dead as Winry had described. 

What made him nervous though, was the gun in Ed's hands. 

The relief he felt immediately disappeared. He stupidly had hoped that if Ed was waiting for a train, then he'd just be taking off for a bit to calm down on his own. The gun in his hands- looking so out of place because he'd only seen Ed hold a gun that one time in the woods with gluttony- made him realize that Ed was probably thinking if the train didn't come soon, he was just gonna pull the trigger. 

He took a deep breath and walked a bit slower, trying to make his presence known but not overbearing. His shoe scraped the sidewalk and Ed's eyes had no light when they slid towards him. A weak smile came to his face and he laughed. "Was wondering how long before I was found." 

His voice was... scary. It was hallow, completely empty of any emotion. It was unsettling in every single way. 

He cleared his throat. "I'm honestly a bit embarrassed by how long it took me to think of this place."

Ed just continued to stare at him. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't look away from Ed. The only sound was his own frantic heartbeat and the faint rustle of trees with the wind. "How'd you know to come find me."

"Winry. She showed up on my doorstep about two hours ago."

He scoffs, closing his eyes and letting out a weird inward laugh. "Aw, fuck, Winry. I probably scared the shit out of her. Not to mention that was probably the shittiest way to tell her that her brother was dead."

Hearing him say it so casually was unnerving, and only made his worry spike. "She's with Hawkeye now at my place, so she's not without comfort." He says, voice portraying none of the panic he felt. 

"Good." His eyes open again and he smiles a bit. "Is that why you're here with me? Winry gets Hawkeye and I get you?"

"I'm here to make sure you don't do something stupid, and then to be your comfort should you want it."

Ed's laugh is sharp and loud, and it actually makes Roy flinch. "I'm not gonna try and bring him back, Mustang. I know that doesn't work."

"That isn't what I meant." He says cooly, eyes dropping to the gun in Ed's blood soaked hands. 

Ed follows his gaze and smiles. "Oh! Right, you guys are worried I'm going to off myself right?" He laughs again, lifting the gun up and tapping it to the side of his head. Roy freezes. "I'm sure you thought you'd find me already dead, didn't you?" He sighs. Eyes locked on Roy's, the man smiles and leans his elbows on his knees and presses the barrel of the gun under his chin. "Well, lucky for you I haven't."

Roy has literally been trained for this. He knows what to do and how to handle someone about to commit, knows how to talk them down. But for some reason, all of his training goes flying out of his mind because this is Edward, one of the few people he considers to be family and a dear friend. 

"Ed, please-"

"NO!" 

The yell startles him enough to flinch, but it's Ed suddenly jumping to his feet and advancing on him that makes him take a few steps back. 

Ed grabs the collar of his shirt, shoving him back until he hits one of the platform columns. Ed is in his face, eyes gone manic now. 

"Stop talking." He growls, and Roy can feel his heartbeat pick up. "There is fucking nothing anyone can say to me right now that can possibly change my mind." He's breathing heavily and his eyes are still dangerously unfocused but there's desperation in them. 

He licks his lips, trying to force down his unease. "Edward. You're mind isn't made up. Why else would you come to the train station?"

Ed whines, and then he's moving his hand from Roy's shirt, and instead grabbing his hand and making him grab ahold of the gun. He's too quick for Roy to really process what the hell he's trying to do, but then Ed's hands are wrapped tightly around his own and the gun. 

"Do it." He demands, forcing the gun back to his neck. His hands are sweaty around Roy's, but the gun is cold underneath his own grip. "Please, Mustang. Do it for me. I'm too much of a coward but you're a killer; you can do it and it'll just be over!"

Roy thinks he's stopped breathing. He can't even hear his heartbeat anymore and he's sure it must've actually been him who died tonight and this was all some fucked up version of hell. It had to be. 

But his finger is forced onto the trigger by Ed, and it takes a strength he didn't know he had to keep Ed from pushing it down. 

He realizes now that it's the panic making him stop breathing. It's so far in his throat that if he didn't have to focus he's sure he'd be lost in an attack. 

Ed is still struggling against him, eyes locked on his as he rambles nonsense begging, tears forming in his eyes. "Please fuck just do it, please Roy I can't.... I'm nothing without him please!"

Something in him breaks. It feels like his heart genuinely rips, an ache he only felt when Maes had died. Ed's eyes are wide, gleaming and desperate. 

"Ed, let my hands go." His voice is rough, struggling to push through the panic in his chest. 

Ed is shaking, teeth clenched as he struggles with himself. Roy stays as still as he can, trying to move his hands just enough to get his finger away from the trigger, terrified that Ed will use his true strength and make him pull the trigger. 

"Please Ed." He begs again, voice weak and he doesn't even care about how much emotion he's letting bleed through his usual persona; doesn't care that at that moment everything washes over him and he actually feels a few tears fall from his eyes, voice becoming thick. "Please." He begs, choking on a sob he tries to swallow. "I can't lose another friend."

He hadn't meant for it to be a guilt trip, but when Ed's eyes flashed with some sort of emotion he couldn't bring himself to regret it. Ed's hands faltered a bit, the gun pulling away just enough so that it was no longer digging into his chin. But still, Ed's hands were firm around it and he couldn't look away from Roy. 

He could move his hand now, and managed to inch his finger off the trigger, but now it was being crushed against the metal. He couldn't bring himself to care. 

Shaking, Ed speaks and it sounds scared. "I can not do this without my brother, Mustang. You can't ask that of me." His voice is a whisper, and Roy knows that there's a small part of his mind that is waiting desperately for Roy to stop him. 

"It's selfish, unbelievably selfish of me to say that to you but it's the truth." He gasps, jumping at this crack in Ed's resolve. "But it's not just me, Ed. It's Hawkeye and Havoc. Fuery, Falman, and Breda. Major Armstrong and General Armstrong. Emperor Ling, Mai, and every single other person you've met in your life and consider a friend or an ally." He's slowly pulling his hands away from the gun, Ed's going with his. When Ed doesn't notice, he continues. "And it's about Winry, Ed. Winry who right now is probably falling apart with Hawkeye and terrified that you aren't coming home."

Ed is shaking now, and he swears there's tears in his eyes. "...roy."

"It's selfish of us to ask you to stay. But I promise you Ed you won't be alone in this. You have all of us. And it's not going to be easy, but it'll be worth it." 

Ed's grip falters, and he uses that to force their hands away. The gun clatters to the ground between them and he immediately kicks it away. The second the gun is away, it's like Ed has nothing stabilizing him anymore. He catches him as he collapses to his knees, wrapping him as tightly as he can against him. 

The second Roy's arms are around him, Ed screams.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually had a bit more written to this but I deleted it because I have a habit of writing short stories but then I wanna keep writing and it ends up ruining it. So I decided to actually keep one short and post it for once. Sorry my first post was hella dark lmao


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